You probably didn’t realise that I was off track. But I have been.
It started a few months ago. Sandra from Thinking Slimmer asked if I would do an interview with a well known magazine to talk about my weight loss and success with Thinking Slimmer. I was delighted and quite excited about the prospect of being featured so I said yes. I had an interview with a journalist and the plan was that if they liked my story that I’d then have a photo shoot with my hair and make up done.
Following the interview it all went very quiet and eventually we found out that they weren’t going to go ahead with my story – because my weight loss wasn’t dramatic enough. Although I’ve dropped two dress sizes, run a marathon and made huge changes to my lifestyle – the numbers on the scales hadn’t changed significantly enough for them. The feedback was that I needed to lose another half a stone or so before they’d consider publishing my story.
I was a naturally disappointed. But I’m a tough cookie – I can handle things like this pretty well so I thought. My natural reaction to rejection and disappointment kicked in – “I’ll show you – I’ll lose that half a stone” and before I knew it I had set myself a target to lose half a stone by the end of November.
Now, I have avoided weight loss targets like the plague since I started Thinking Slimmer and for good reason. They make me feel like I’m on a diet which is not what Thinking Slimmer is about. They put my head back into ‘diet brain’ mode – I start thinking about good and bad food, thinking about calories, weighing myself more often than is necessary and generally doing things which take me back to a place that I don’t want to go, and don’t need to go.
But I forgot that for a while. I thought I’d come far enough on my Thinking Slimmer journey to be able to deal with all that. So I bought a pair of fancy new scales that tell me all sorts of things that I never knew I needed to know, and off I went on my weight loss mission. The first week I lost a pound – good start. But then things started to deteriorate and I noticed old behaviours creeping back in. Eating when I wasn’t hungry, not stopping when I was full, feeling anxious and uptight about food – what on earth was going on?
Thankfully I realised what was happening pretty quickly. I talked to Dawn and explained what was going on and arranged to have a consultation with her. We talked through how I was feeling and did something called a timeline which helped me to identify the point in time where my issues with food and weight stemmed from and did some work to fix it. I felt fantastic following that session, like a weight had literally been lifted from me and I felt that I had been set free and was able to continue to listen to the Slimpods and lose the weight.
For the first week after seeing Dawn everything felt brilliant – it was like being back at the start of my Slimpod journey again. Full signals loud and clear, not thinking about food apart from when hungry – all the wonderful effects of the Slimpod were back. So imagine my disappointment when I stepped on the scales the following week to find that my weight was exactly the same. Gutted doesn’t come close.
Now logically I know that there are 101 reasons why that might have happened that particular week. But sub consciously the damage was done and I found myself back in the negative place again. Fighting with myself mentally, not understanding why ‘I couldn’t lose weight’.
Then on Tuesday before the regular Slimpod Club online meeting on Facebook Sandra posted this and suggested that we should use it as the basis of our discussion at that meeting. It felt like she had jumped into my head and knew exactly what I needed to move on from where I was.
After a brilliant discussion with everyone in the Facebook group and reading this fab blog post from Dawn, the final piece of my puzzle fell into place. That weight loss goal was not my goal, it was handed to me indirectly by someone else. MY goal is NOT to be a number on a set of scales, my goal is to be fit and healthy. So, the weight loss target has gone and been replaced by a pair of jeans that I can’t fit into at the moment – they are my new goal and I WILL wear them comfortably by the end of January.
Since then I have been completely back on track – the Slimpod is working for me again and I feel relaxed and back in control again. And to top it all off I found out that I have been named as one of the Slimpod Stars of 2012. Because Thinking Slimmer is about more than just weight loss – it’s about changing your lifestyle, feeling in control and being empowered to do things that you once wouldn’t have thought possible.
I’m even more delighted that my Dad has also been named as one of the stars. He’s been having great success on a Diabetes trial that Thinking Slimmer have been running. I’m really looking forward to meeting the other Slimpod Stars at our makeover day at Debenhams in a couple of weeks time.
So yes, I’m back on track, focussed and determined to get into those jeans. Watch this space!